When the Consultant Doesn’t Quite Get It: 7 Tips to Help Manage Frustration in Diabetes Clinics

If you’re the parent of a child or teenager with Type 1 Diabetes, you’ve probably sat in a hospital clinic hoping for support or understanding- only to walk out feeling frustrated, unheard or deflated.

It’s a familiar experience for many families.

Often, the consultant or diabetes team is incredibly knowledgeable about insulin therapy, blood glucose patterns and NICE guidelines. But when it comes to the lived experience of day-to-day life with Type 1 Diabetes- sleepless nights, packed lunch stress, sports day lows, GCSE pressure- they may not always get it.

And when your child or teen sense that disconnect too, it can make appointments even more disheartening. So how do you manage that frustration- for your child and for yourself? Here are 7 tips to help.

1. Acknowledge the Frustration- For Both of You

It’s OK to feel let down. Your frustration is real and valid. It can be incredibly disheartening when someone who’s meant to support you seems more focused on numbers than on people. And for your child-particularly as they become a teenager- it can feel even more isolating.

Let your child vent after appointments. Sometimes the best thing you can say is, “Yeah, that felt tough. I felt it too.”

2. Shift Your Expectations

Diabetes consultants and nurses are medical professionals. They’re trained to manage blood sugar levels, adjust insulin doses and assess complications- not always to navigate the emotional or social toll Type 1 Diabetes takes.

That’s not an excuse, but it might help to reframe what the clinic is for: clinical guidance. Emotional support? That might come better from elsewhere.

Expert Tip: Ask if the Psychologist on your child or teen’s Diabetes team can sit in on appointments. Ask a few weeks in advance so they have time to fit this into their schedule. Often times, they can ask questions in a different way to help bring understanding to the diabetes team which can be helpful.

3. Bring Real Life Into the Room

Sometimes, the numbers don’t tell the full story. Bring context. If your teen is comfortable, let them speak openly about how things are really going.

For example:

“Her time in range isn’t great, but she’s been really struggling with managing at school and is feeling burnt out. We’d appreciate a focus on what’s manageable, not just ideal.”

This not only brings the human element back into the conversation, but it helps shift the tone of the appointment from judgement to support.

4. Expand the Support Team

If your diabetes clinic doesn’t offer much in the way of psychological support, there are other options.

• DSNs (Diabetes Specialist Nurses) often have more time to listen and help you problem solve.

• Paediatric or adolescent mental health teams (sometimes via CAMHS) may be able to support your child if diabetes is affecting their wellbeing.

• Charities like Diabetes UK, Breakthrough T1D or The Diabetes Football Community offer resources, support groups and events for children, teens and families living with Type 1.

• Type 1 summer camps, local meetups or virtual communities can help your child see they’re not the only one navigating this condition.

5. Help Your Teen Speak for Themselves- Gradually

As your child grows, it’s important they start to find their voice in the clinic. Help them prepare ahead of time:

• What do they want the doctor to know?

• Is there anything they don’t want to talk about during this particular appointment?

• What’s working? What’s not working?

• What support do they need?

Even something small, like asking, “Can I explain what’s been happening?” can build confidence and start shifting the dynamic.

6. Consider a Change- If Needed

If you consistently leave appointments feeling judged or dismissed, you can ask for a change. In the NHS, you’re entitled to a second opinion or a transfer to another clinic (this may involve speaking to your GP or consultant).

Look for professionals who treat your child as a whole person, not just a set of readings on a chart.

7. Maintain Perspective and Compassion

Some clinicians simply won’t ever fully understand the emotional weight of living with Type 1- and that can be frustrating. But holding onto resentment only adds to your burden.

You might find some peace in reminding yourself:

“They’ve studied diabetes, but they haven’t lived it. That’s not their fault. But I have- and so has my child, and that makes us the experts too.”

Final Thought: You Know Your Child Best

You live this life 24/7. You’re up during the night. You’re dealing with school calls, low snacks, sports highs, burnout, tears, resilience and quiet strength. Consultants may help with insulin dosing, but you and your child carry the rest- and that’s not a small thing.

So if the system doesn’t quite see you? Don’t stop speaking up. Find your tribe. Advocate. Support each other. Most importantly- keep reminding your child (and yourself): this is hard- but you’re doing an incredible job.