“Help, Please and Thank You: How to Ask for (and Actually Accept) Support After a Type 1 Diagnosis
So, your child’s been diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. You’ve been flung into a world of needles, Libre alarms, carb-counting and permanent sleep deprivation- and you’re somehow managing to juggle it all while answering questions like, “Can they still eat birthday cake?” for the 47th time.
You’re doing amazing. But also…you’re probably overwhelmed. Tired. A bit lonely, even. And yet, when someone asks, “Can I help?” your default response is likely something like: “Oh no, we’re fine, honestly.”
Sound familiar? Thought so.
This is your gentle nudge (read: loving shove) to not only ask for help, but to accept it without guilt- and to start actually telling friends and family what you need to feel supported.
Why We Don’t Ask for Help (But Really Should)
Here are some Greatest Hits you may have told yourself:
“No one else understands diabetes.”
“It’s just easier to do it myself.”
“I don’t want to be a burden.”
“They’ll probably do it wrong.”
Valid feelings. But guess what? You deserve help anyway.
This is a marathon, not a sprint. And it’s a lot harder to run it while carrying everyone else’s bags- and your child’s emergency hypo snacks.
The Art of Asking (Without Awkwardness)
Here are a few phrases that open the door, without sounding like you’re sending up a distress flare:
“I’m still getting the hang of things- would you mind…” (…picking up dinner? Sitting with my child while I shower? Reading a leaflet about T1D so I don’t have to explain it again?)
“It’s really helpful when…” (…you check in on me, offer to watch the children, bring snacks that don’t come with 70g of carbs.)
“Could I ask a favour?” People love being useful. Give them a task they can tick off. It makes everyone feel better.
What Kind of Help Should You Ask For?
Here’s your official permission slip to ask for:
Practical Help: school runs, washing up, watching siblings while you focus on a tricky blood sugar day.
Emotional Support: someone who’ll listen without trying to “fix it”. Just tea, nodding, and saying “that sounds really hard.”
Information Allies: send a few people a Diabetes UK family guide and let them learn the basics. It saves you repeating yourself every time someone asks, “Can they still eat sugar?”
Talking to Family & Friends: What to Say (and What to Skip)
It’s tough when your support circle is full of lovely people who don’t quite get it. You want to scream and hug them all at once. Here’s how to open up, without launching a PowerPoint.
Start Here:
“This diagnosis has completely changed our daily life.”
“We’re managing- but it’s really full-on.”
“I don’t expect you to understand everything, but I’d love if you could support us in small ways.”
Be Honest About What’s Not Helpful:
"I know you mean well, but when you say ‘at least it’s not…’ it makes it harder to share how I’m feeling.”
“Please don’t suggest cinnamon or low-carb diets- this isn’t Type 2 and it’s not caused by food.”
Tell Them How They Can Help:
“Ask how we’re doing- even if you don’t know what to say.”
“Offer to come over or bring a meal. I probably won’t ask, but I’ll really appreciate it.”
How to Actually Accept Help Without Guilt
The hard truth? People don’t offer because they pity you. They offer because they care. They’re watching someone they love handle something really, really tough- and they want to show up.
So next time someone offers, try saying:
“Yes, that would be amazing. Thank you.”
“Honestly, I’d love that.”
“Wow, yes. I’ve been trying to do everything myself and I’m exhausted.”
Spoiler alert: saying yes might just change your whole day.
You Deserve Backup. Ask for It.
You are not weak for needing help. You are human. A very tired, very brave, incredibly loving human who is managing a medical condition on top of everything else.
So let the people in. Make a WhatsApp group. Text your mate. Delegate. Ask for school snack suggestions. Let your mum fold the laundry. Tell your best friend you’re scared sometimes.
You’re not alone. You never were.
And by asking for help, you’ll not only feel more supported- you’ll teach your child that strength isn’t doing everything solo. It’s knowing when to say: I need you.